Wednesday, December 1, 2004

Dodgy Lawsuits

1. "Blues singer sues shrink for making him feel better"
"Famed blues singer Gloomy Gus 'Been Down So Long It Looks Like Up to Me'
 Johnson is suing his psychiatrist -- for making him happier! 'I can't sing
 the blues when I'm feeling good. It ruins my authenticity!' says Johnson"

2. "TV addict to sue cable company"
"Timothy Dumouchel claimed cable TV was also to blame for his wife's gaining
 more than 20 kilograms and his kids being 'lazy channel surfers'"

3. "Sweets company sued over liquorice addiction"
"The 48-year-old plaintiff is asking for 6,000 euros in damages from Haribo
 because she developed heart problems after consuming 400 grams of the chewy
 candy every day for four months"

4. "Credit card company sued for letting woman spend"
"A bogus princess is suing American Express for £1.2million for 'letting'
 her spend £600,000"

5. "Mother and daughter sue restaurant over spicy dish"
"Staff of a Chicago restaurant called police because two customers wouldn't
 pay for a meal they said was too hot"

6. "Judge rules against Janet payout"
"A judge in Salt Lake City, Utah, said Viacom, which owns CBS, was not
 liable for the damages Eric Stephenson claimed for 'false advertising'.
 The father-of-three said the show, during American football's showpiece
 game, was billed as family viewing"

7. "Mr Jack Ass sues US show"
"Bob Craft changed his name to Jack Ass in 1997 to raise awareness about
 the dangers of drink-driving... He claims media giant Viacom is 'liable
 for injury to my reputation that I have built and defamation of my
 character which I have worked so hard to create'"

8. "Man sues Wal-Mart after dog food bowls reportedly fall"  [expired link]
"A Newcomerstown man who claims he was injured when a stack of dog food
 bowls fell on him is suing Wal-Mart for nearly $1 million"

Ok, the first story is a parody, but it's a good one.