Friday, April 21, 2006

The Things People Say

1. "The sleeping giant goes on the offensive: Steve Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft
    is ready to take the offensive."
"My children--in many dimensions they're as poorly behaved as many other
 children, but at least on this dimension I've got my kids brainwashed:
 You don't use Google, and you don't use an iPod."

2. "President Bush's remarks on Economic Competitiveness"
"The iPod, interestingly enough, was built on years of government-funded
 research in microdrive storage and electrochemistry and signal compression"

3. "Bush brings campaign across the Potomac"
"Bush added that 'the really rich people figure out how to dodge taxes

4. "Rumsfeld prose makes sweet music"
"Last year, newspaper columnist Hart Seely recorded Mr Rumsfeld's exchanges
 with reporters in Pieces of Intelligence: The Existential Poetry of Donald
 Rumsfeld.  One of those pieces, The Unknown, is Mr Rumsfeld's oft-repeated
 musing on the vagaries of intelligence, 'as we know, there are known knowns;
 there are things we know we know; we also know, there are known unknowns...'"
 * "Pieces of Intelligence: The Existential Poetry of Donald Rumsfeld"
 * The Donald Rumsfeld Library of Quotations

5. "Jennifer Lopez wants to be American president"
"After conquering Hollywood and the pop charts, superstar Jennifer Lopez says
 she is ready to wrestle George W Bush out of the White House"

6. "Celine calls her Vegas audiences sleepy drunks"
"Celine Dion has admitted that audiences at her Las Vegas show are often
 tired, drunk, sick and in some cases asleep"

7. "Charlize wants to marry Ozzy"
"Charlize Theron says she would love to marry Ozzy Osbourne"

8. "'I haven't read a book in my life', says Posh"
"Former Spice Girl singer Victoria Beckham, the wife of England soccer
 captain David, has confessed she has never read a book"

9. "Vanstone denies mocking aviation security measures"
"she allegedly complained about having to use plastic knives on planes, and
 used a bizarre example involving gouging someone's eye out with a pencil"