B-List

1. "Motorists' 'weird' speed excuses"
   <http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/mid_/4111835.stm>
"Sick budgies, hitchhikers at the wheel and ice scrapers under the
 accelerator are some of the weird excuses given by speeding drivers
 in Wales"

2. "Aliens to blame for speeding ticket"
   <http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1196973.html>
"Aliens, a vibrating surfboard and a desperate need for the toilet
 were all excuses offered by speeding motorists desperate to avoid
 three points on their licence"

3. "Breast excuse for bad driving"
   <http://www.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,6420718%255E13762,00.html>
"Police are shocked by some of the excuses Territory drivers are
 offering up for not wearing their seat belts, running red lights
 and speeding"

4. "A pretty poor excuse for a driver"   [expired link]
   <http://www.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,9462402^421,00.html>
"Desperate motorists caught flouting Victoria's road laws are coming
 up with laughable excuses in an attempt to save their skins. The
 most pitiful lines in recent weeks include:  A DRIVER who insisted
 he didn't know what traffic light colours stood for after running a
 red one.  A WOMAN who didn't want to apply the brake while her cat
 was on her lap.  A DRIVER who wanted to test the accuracy of his
 speedometer at various high speeds.  A LEAD-FOOTED motorist who
 claimed to be racing home because his dog Fido was having an
 epileptic fit"

5. "Driver sped to blow-dry car"
   <http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_988942.html>
"A New Zealand man caught speeding says he was driving fast so he
 could blow-dry his car"

6. "Man blames pickles for losing control and slamming into nightclub"
   <http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/news/110104_local_carbldg.html>
"He says the pickles gave him an allergic reaction. He tells police
 he passed out at the wheel and that's when the car hit the building"

7. "Pizza delivery driver races to his arrest"
   <http://starbulletin.com/2004/06/26/news/index7.html>
"A pizza delivery driver told police he was making a delivery when
 they caught him speeding at 70 miles an hour and allegedly racing
 another driver along Kalanianaole Highway"